One of these men is a hero. Can you guess which one?
Jon Favreau has one of the most enviable careers in Hollywood. As an actor, he thrives in the quirky, funny, not-really-starring roles, meaning that he never has the pressure of carrying a movie, but can still reap the benefits of turning in a quality performance, as he did in the classic comedy PCU. As a director, Favreau gets $200 million budgets to make stupid action movies, but he has yet to receive the same level of criticism as directors in similar positions, like Michael Bay. Of course, this could be due to the fact that Favreau is not nearly as obnoxious a filmmaker as Bay, although with Iron Man 2, Favreau approaches Bay-like levels of obnoxiousness.
Iron Man 2 opens with a villain montage where Mickey Rourke creates his own version of an Iron Man power suit. He also lets a cockatoo drink out of a tiny goblet, which is, by far, the best moment of the entire film. It is an act that only Mickey Rourke could get away with. I don’t care how talented or versatile the actor only Mickey Rourke could let a cockatoo drink out of a tiny goblet and have the audience say, “Yeah, that seems about right.” It’s a shame that Mickey Rourke’s cockatoo feeding (What is the drink-giving equivalent verb of ‘feeding’? I know people refer to watering a horse, but ‘watering’ doesn’t seem the appropriate word to describe letting a cockatoo drink out of tiny goblet. Bonus Points to whomever can provide a verb that best describes letting a cockatoo drink out of tiny goblet.) isn’t a larger part of the film. In fact, it’s a shame that Mickey Rourke isn’t a larger part of the movie, especially considering he’s supposed the be the film’s villain. He gets some action at the beginning of the film and during the climatic, not-really-all-that Shakespearean in magnitude finale, but between those two set pieces, Iron Man 2 is really just a parade of douchebaggery.
Another reason I envy Jon Favreau is because directing the actors in Iron Man 2 must have been the easiest job ever. Not only was he working with talented professionals like Robert Downey, Jr., Don Cheadle, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson, and Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently the only direction he had to give them was “Act like a douchebag.” That’s what Iron Man 2 is: 2 hours of various people acting like douchebags. Robert Downey, Jr acts like a douchebag, then Sam Rockwell acts like a douchebag, then Garry Shandling acts like a douchebag, etc. It’s a non-stop parade of revoltingly unlikeable characters, which is a problem in a superhero film.
In the first Iron Man, Tony Stark was a douchebag, but he was a douchebag with a heart of gold. He redeemed his douchebaggery by becoming a superhero and saving the world from the terrorists who want to steal our freedoms. In Iron Man 2, Tony Stark is an even bigger douchebag, but now he’s dying. So I, as an audience member, am supposed to feel pity for a man who doesn’t care about those around him, puts countless innocent lives at risk when he could have led the robots chasing him out over the ocean, instead of leading through a destructive tour of New York’s infrastructure, and who can accomplish nothing without the help of a super-powered magic suit. Why should I care about that guy? Clearly, anyone could do what he does. Mickey Rourke engineered an arc reactor. Don Cheadle can operate the Iron Man suit. What makes Tony Stark unique in this movie? Oh yeah, he’s slowly being killed by his own hubristic lifestyle, so I should feel sad for him.
Tony Stark is not a hero, he is a menace. He is a portrait of the military-industrial complex gone horribly wrong. He is a poster child for the dangers of runaway capitalism. And, most importantly, he is an insufferable douche. The real hero of Iron Man 2 is, not surprisingly Jon Favreau. As Happy Hogan, Favreau plays the loyal friend to Tony Stark and Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts. He is always there to lend a helping hand or clever remark, and he saves the day just as often as Tony Stark, although he does it in a much less destructive fashion. It is Happy Hogan who provides the Iron Man suit during the terribly unimpressive Monaco race sequence. He also disables Mickery Rourke for a short time, allowing Tony Stark to don the Iron Man Suit. When Scarlett Johansson needs a ride, it is Happy Hogan who is there to take her, which helps restore balance in the climactic fight sequence. But does Happy Hogan get an over-the-top celebration? Does he get the girl? Does he earn the begrudging admiration of a one-eyed Samuel L. Jackson. No, no, and mother fucking no. And that’s what makes Happy Hogan a hero.
Happy Hogan doesn’t fight for money or fame. He fights because it is the right thing to do. And that, in essence, is what a hero is: a person who, when push comes to shove (or, in this case, when militarized robots start blowing shit up), does what needs to be done. If I were to rate Happy Hogan on my scale of one to five tiny heads of Sergei Eisenstein, I would give him, without hesitation, 5 tiny heads of Sergei Eisenstein. But I’m not rating Happy Hogan, I’m rating Iron Man 2. Iron Man 2 is a pretty mediocre movie. Like a Spielberg movie, it tries to make the plot about father-son issues, rather than about the conflict between good and evil and the space in between occupied by people like Tony Stark. Like a Michael Bay move, it eschews character development in favour of wise-cracking robots pissing and beating the shit out of each other. On my scale of one to five tiny heads of Sergei Eisenstein, I give Iron Man 2 two tiny heads of Sergei Eisenstein.
